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Thing is I can’t even remember if I’d had a piss or not. All I know is I had coke on me and had just dropped my knife down the kharzy. Plip! The pub I was in was a total dive and always had been – frequented by every low-life king of the world (including me) – I dread to think what had gone down that U-bend. But without a moment’s hesitation my hand dived in and grabbed the knife – this coke ain’t gonna cut itself! I gave it a quick rinse and dried it off, washed me hands and went back into the bar to carry on drinking and talking shit.

The only thing I know about coke for absolute certainty is that you will regret every single line of it.

This is a snippet of a memory from about 15 years ago. They were very druggy days. Such a waste, really, but it’s what we do… isn’t it?